The Healing Power of the Mesa
Throughout my life I have searched for a myriad of ways to bring healing to myself. As a child and through different relationships as a teen and adult, I suffered different forms of trauma and abuse. Because of this, I disassociated, or in shamanic terminology, experienced Soul Loss. I used and abused alcohol and drugs to subconsciously cope and to cover up the deep, deep pain of the effects of this. As I matured in age and psychologically, I had an Awakening again, to my Self. A Re-Membering as don Oscar calls it. When this occurred, my life started to shift. I uncovered hidden memories of the experiences that I had, and when I allowed these to surface I learned how to work within my psyche and shadow aspects of myself to bring healing in. I traveled and trained rigorously in Yoga, Meditation, Qi Gong, Shamanism, Reiki and Energy techniques and other modalities in search of my wholeness, gaining wisdom, tools and gifts to help me along the way. I realized that my path to freedom was loving myself unconditionally and understanding that I was solely responsible for my happiness and not some external person or thing.
Peeling back the onion layers was an extremely difficult and painful process that was arduous work and an initiation in itself that most people don’t even dare to attempt it. It takes courage and great strength to see the Truth of your own life and all that is in it. The complexities of the human condition takes a toll, but life is the greatest initiation of all. If you can overcome the struggles and look deeply into yourself and the pain you will find beauty and the greatest gifts you will ever know. It is akin to jumping off of a cliff into the unknown. It is scary and tempting all at the same time, but it will liberate you forever. The single most important thing that I have ever learned is Trust. Trusting my intuition, inner GPS system and my helpers in the unseen realms has been my guiding light and savior. It took me many, many years to learn how to trust in that which is beyond any understanding or comprehension.
One of the medicines that I carry is extreme intuition and sensitivity. Since I was a small child I knew and saw things that nobody else did. I was never understood or accepted and learned to live life on the edge of society, adapting to circumstances that were present in my life, from moment to moment. I was an adept at this. I naturally counseled my friends and family all of my life, with excellent success. All of my natural gifts and the training that I received prepared me for the next steps that I was going to take in my life. I opened up a healing studio showcasing my skills as a “Healer”, showing others how to take back their own power in their lives and reminding them that they are really the true healers and that I am just a hollow reed and conduit to transmit the divine wisdom to them that they were needing. The more clients that came to me in their own search for healing, the more I realized that I was still dealing with lingering, deep seated issues that kept coming up to be seen. I knew that I could not see any more clients after I realized this because I was not standing in my own Truth if I did. How could I be a model to these beautiful souls if I was still struggling with my own shit?
So I closed up shop and was told by Spirit that I needed to do a Vision Quest in Arizona. So I did. I booked a flight and planned on a 12 day Paqowachu. I pissed everyone off that was close to me in my life. But nothing was going to stop me from this pull that was so strong, that it left me breathless with anticipation. I had the most profound time of my life, and a huge Shamanic Death during this quest. I was invited to ceremony with the Hopi and Navajo and had a deep initiation at Prophecy Rock. Unseen allies that were with me since birth showed up in physical form, calling me onto the “Shamanic Path”. A path that was fundamentally inherent in my blood and bones my entire life, I just didn’t know it yet. I went through a 3 year rigorous training in core shamanism with a beloved teacher and healer. At the end of this training the Pachakuti Mesa Tradition showed up into my life, synchronistically, or I should say, all in Divine Timing.
Studying with don Oscar and learning how to assemble and navigate the Mesa was enlightening. Building relationship with my Mesa and the artes was building me up in my relationship with myself, since the Mesa is a reflection of our own selves. This multidimensional playing field and control panel is a portal to the world of Quantum reality, for me. How deep down the rabbit hole do I want to go? The process of calling in the qualities of the Mesa and the artes is calling in aspects of my Self. Forging a deep, deep bond that can never be broken. I have taken my anguish, my tears, my grief, my happiness, my joy, I have taken it all there, and I have felt loved and accepted unconditionally. The Mesa is a true epitome of the perfect Witness. It has healed me completely from the last remaining remnants and vestiges of the deepest wound that I carried. This relationship has been nurturing and nourishing and an experience that is so unique with every Mesa Carrier in this beautiful Pachakuti Mesa Tradition. It is a lived experience that is difficult to translate into any language. The only way to understand it is to experience the healing power of the Mesa yourself.